Precious few moments in King Kong (or, for that matter the new Star Wars films, or the Spider-Man franchise, or Harry Potter.) look even remotely photo-realistic. I also remain utterly bewildered as to why today's filmmakers are so in love with their CGI toys. Ann's relationship with Kong is certainly touching - even a cold-hearted cynic like myself was misty-eyed as our doomed lovers made goo-goo eyes at each other on the edge of a giant cliff - but it is surrounded by so much banal business that I nearly fell asleep. And the island scenes, while decent enough as action filler, also have little to do with the heart of the story. It is almost as if Jackson is obsessed with telling the backstories of everyone but Ann and Kong. Instead, we get endless subplot after endless subplot, none of which pay off in any meaningful way. For the first two-thirds of the film's very long 187 minutes - and even more padded in its extended 200-minute version, which is also included here - Jackson seems to care little about his two leads. Which is why I was so exasperated by Jackson's take on the material. The tale of King Kong is, of course, a classic. Yes it's ridiculous - a woman and a giant ape falling in love? But the power of Kong has always been that it is a fairy tale, a tragic fable of beauty that killed the beast. But love has no bounds, especially when your boyfriend weighs six tons, and the Big Apple now has one very big problem on its hands - this one won't end happily. Of course, as with all tragic romances, fate intervenes - Denham cares little for romance, only profit, and soon poor Kong is New York's new star attraction. After even more interminable Jurassic Park-lite scenes involving Kong fighting (and fighting, and fighting) with dinosaurs, and Gollum (Andy Serkis) being attacked by giant bugs, Kong and Ann fall in love. After a bunch of interminable scenes on a boat involving instantly forgettable supporting characters, the crew is captured by a village of savages, with Ann being served as the main course for Kong. Along for the ride is Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody), who is in love with Ann, but she has another, slightly more rotund suitor waiting for her on the island. Lovelorn and desperate for big-screen stardom, she hooks up with shady filmmaker Carl Denham (Jack Black), who whisks her and a makeshift crew off to a remote island, in the hopes of capturing "exotic" footage for a new potboiler. The story: Ann Darrow (Watts) is a struggling B-movie actress in 1920s America. Painfully overlong, horribly structured, badly cast, and containing some of the worst CGI I've ever seen, I couldn't wait for Kong to finally fall off the top of that stupid building and crush Naomi Watts along with him, just so the whole dumb thing would be over with. Because I hated this heartfelt if woefully miscalculated would-be blockbuster. So if you like this movie, skip right on down to the technical portions of this review. And nothing I can say will likely change anyone's mind. Sure, the film wasn't quite the gargantuan box office hit predicted, but the faithful still bent over backwards trying to downplay the film's faults and over-inflate its positives. So, to not like Kong is almost heretical. Thanks to the Ringsphenomenon, Peter Jackson is Hollywood's new heir apparent to Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and James Cameron all rolled into one. So it goes with King Kong, a film beloved before it even hit cinemas.
So it is with great trepidation I go into any review of a film that has a sizable and vocal fanbase. God forbid you spit on someone's favorite classic - in my day, I've gotten my fair share of hate mail, from the mundane (one reader actually sent me a rotted pumpkin in the mail for failing to find Halloween III an undiscovered masterpiece) to the near-psychotic (I had to change my email address - twice - after an irate veteran apparently didn't like my trashing of Pearl Harbor and predicted I might suffer a premature demise). You never know who is out there, reading what you've written, and waiting to take revenge.
#King kong free video movie
Being a movie reviewer can be dangerous work.
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